Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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