We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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