I'm really into asian looking animals
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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