I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
