I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
