Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
