You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
