Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
