She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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