we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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