this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
