2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
