i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
there's paper in my vomit.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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