apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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