PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
