Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
