guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
