considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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