i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
