I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Randomize
