we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
