You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
