there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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