She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
