His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
