Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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