The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
