thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize