Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
