You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
