with your own penis?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
