She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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