Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
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She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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