It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
