last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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