how hairy? two words: wookie tits
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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