he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
