the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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