it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
