i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
