I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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