Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We had sex on a dog bed..
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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