My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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