Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
