i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
