soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
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I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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