is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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