Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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