ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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