We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
