I want to stick my p in your. b.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
