i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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