Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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