She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
