I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
