I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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