if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
