After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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