It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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