It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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