You're so nebulous sometimes
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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