gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Bring me that man meat
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
