She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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