If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
