I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
