Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
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I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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