After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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