Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
