these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
